Do you want to fight a midget riding an 800 pound 4 armed monkey? If the answer is yes, go play Borderlands 2. If the answer is no then you are sad and I’ve no desire to speak with you further.
This review is over.
Umm. I’ve been hearing some of the criticism of the criticism of The Dark Knight Rises and the sheer hatefest the internet has spurned due to negative reviews of The Dark Knight Rises, which includes being called gay, a doodie head, and a knob slobber, oh and death threats. And I don’t want any of that, sooooo…
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES IS AMAAAAAZAAY!! IT’S EPIC, IT’S FUNNY, IT’S THOUGHT-PROVOKING(WITHOUT MAKING YOU RECONSIDER ANY OF YOUR BELIEFS OR TENDENCIES) IT’S PISS-YOUR-PANTS-AT-THE-EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT-BECAUSE-YOUR-BLADDER-GOT-IRRATATED-FROM-THE-3-32oz-PEPSI’S-YOU-DROKE-AND-ALSO-FROM-SITTING-ON-THE-EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT-FOR-TOO-DAMN-LONG-AWESOME!! IT’S BETTER THAN THE SECOND!! BUT NOT IN ANY DETRIMENTAL WAY. IT’S EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND MORE! IT’S THE SECOND COMING!! SO PLEASE DON’T SEND ME DEATH THREATS! ANYTHING BUT THAT! I CAN’T HANDLE THOSE EMPTY HATEFUL GAY ASS WORDS! PLEEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!! I’LL GIVE THE DARK KNIGHT RISES MY HIGHEST RECOMENDATION
2000 BATS OUT OF 5